250+ Best Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Loud

Best Dad Jokes Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger… - And then it hit me. What kind of cars do eggs drive? Yolkswagens. Read More Happy New Year Images 2024 Happy New Year Wishes 2024 Cheesy Pick Up Lines Dirty Jokes Happy Father’s Day Best Corny Jokes for Dad Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Best Bad Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Dad Jokes for Adults Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan. Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle. Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back. Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out. I wondered why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me. Where are average things manufactured? The Satisfactory. Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw. Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog. Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they golfing? In case they get a hole in one! Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it. Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera. Best Corny Dad Jokes unsplash // kelly sikkema You can't spell par entry without "try." What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable. Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Best Bad Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Dad Jokes for Adults Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back. Why can't a leopard hide? He's always spotted. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate nine! I'm so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed. What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless. Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head. What's brown and sticky? A stick. I hated facial hair but then it grew on me. Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why? Inflation. I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I'm just a bit slow. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space. Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice. How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch. Why are fish so smart? They live in schools! What's 90 degrees but covered with ice? The North and South Poles. What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were marooned. What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment. It really takes guts to be an organ donor. What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know. I'm reading an anti-gravity book. I can't put it down! I'd avoid the sushi if I were you. It's a little fishy! What do houses wear? An address. What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels. I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn? What vegetable is cool, but not that cool? Radish. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon Prime account? Prime mates. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well! Why do peppers make such good archers? Because they habanero. What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown. What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed! Where do boats go when they're sick? To the dock. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield! Can February March? No, but April May! Read More... Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Best Bad Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Dad Jokes for Adults Best One-Liner Dad Jokes pexels // yan krukau Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants! I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. I had a dream about being a muffler. I woke up exhausted. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer. A pony with a cough is just a little horse. Talk is cheap until you talk to a lawyer. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. It takes guts to be an organ donor. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me. If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness? I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa. Keep the dream alive, and hit the snooze button. Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's the whole sentence. I'm afraid of speed bumps, but I am slowly getting over it. The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers. If the early bird catches the worm, I'll sleep in until there are pancakes. Did Noah include termites on the ark? I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands. Best Corny Jokes for Dad Best Bad Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Dad Jokes for Adults Best Bad Dad Jokes pexels // ketut subiyanto What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini. If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes. What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight. Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling? I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it. What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear! What did the juicer say to the orange during self-quarantine? Can’t wait to squeeze you! Someone told me that I should write a book. I said, “That’s a novel concept.” Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around. Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two! When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble. I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through? Best Corny Jokes for Dad Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Dad Jokes for Adults Funny Dad Jokes pexels // kampus production Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera. Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. Why do M&Ms go to school? Because they want to be a Smartie. I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs! How do you protect a bagel? Lox it up! Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left. Why did the picture get arrested? It got framed. What kind of cars do eggs drive? Yolkswagens. Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine? Because of his retractable clause. I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad! How do you keep a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose! What kind of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated. Why can't you tell a taco a secret? They tend to spill the beans! What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish! Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they golfing? In case they get a hole in one! What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea. Best Corny Jokes for Dad Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Best Bad Dad Jokes Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Dad Jokes for Adults Best Dad Jokes for Adults unsplash // nathan anderson I haven't spoken to my wife in four years. I thought it would be rude to interrupt her! What does the stork do once he's delivered the baby? He lies on the couch and drinks a beer! My kid is blaming me for ruining their birthday. That's ridiculous, I didn't even know it was today! Why does a husband lead a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed. My kid gave me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. At least she inherited my sense of humor. I wish my gray hair started in Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. When a toddler reaches the "why?" stage, it's like opening a bottle of champagne—once it's uncorked, there's no going back. How do you teach kids about taxes? Eat 38% of their ice cream. How do you follow Will Smith in the Mud? Follow the fresh prints. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar. I wish my kids weren't offended by my Frozen jokes. They really need to let it go! Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately, yes, she said the others were all nines or tens! How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card. What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be. Best Corny Jokes for Dad Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Best Bad Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Hilarious Dad Jokes Best Hilarious Dad Jokes Why don't phones ever go hungry? They have plenty of apps to choose from. What did the air conditioner say when it met a celebrity? "I'm a big fan." What makes a basketball court trendy and accessorized? The hoops. Why couldn't the family leave the room after playing with Legos? They were blocked. Why was the cow such a heartthrob on the farm? He was a s-moo-th talker. What did the sapphire's best friend tell her? "You're a real gem." What was said about the messy, angry man who was eating a can of Pringles? "He's got a chip on his shoulder." What's a writer's favorite train station? Penn Station. Why couldn't the couple get married at the library? It was all booked up. What vegetable is kind to everyone? The sweet potato. What was Sherlock Holmes' favorite protein source? Mystery meat. How was the handsome runner described? "Dashing." What animals are the best to call if you get locked out of your house? Monkeys. How did the dad prank his daughter using fake dog poop on April Fools Day? He told her to look out for her new sham-poo in the shower. What did the geometry teacher say when the class had trouble solving a problem? "Let's try a different angle." What's it called when kittens get stuck in a tree? A cat-astrophe. What did the dryer say to the boring duvet cover that just got out of the washer? "Don't be such a wet blanket." What kind of shape may have been knighted? Cir-cles. Why is sand so optimistic? It has a can-dune attitude. Why would doors do well on social media? Everyone looks for their handles. What part of the museum makes everyone sneeze? The sta-tues. Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver? The sink. What's either a really gross animal issue OR an impressive, magical school? Hogwarts. What did one furniture maker say to another during a tense discussion? "Let's table this." Why couldn't the couple respond right away when looking at wedding venues? They were engaged. What did the baker say when she won an award? "It was a piece of cake." What did the dishwasher say to the oven after a productive day? "You've been on fire!" What is Marco's favorite clothing store? Polo. Why do pancakes always win at baseball? They have the best batter. Why did the cashier rip money in half? They were asked to break a bill. Why was the ghost so tired? He worked the graveyard shift. What do you call it when a lawyer takes a test early in the morning? A breakfast bar. What kind of bird is always getting hurt? The owl. What do frogs use to track their exercise? Fit (rib)bits. What kind of cleaning product feels a lot of motivation in life? All-purpose. Where was the dripping coming from in the fridge? The leeks. Why was the dad sitting on a pack of playing cards? His kid asked him to sit on the deck. Why was the hockey player gifted a new cap? He was known for his hat tricks. Best Corny Jokes for Dad Best One-Liner Dad Jokes Best Bad Dad Jokes Funny Jokes for Dad Best Dad Jokes for Adults

Best Dad Jokes for Adults

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